— by Michael A. Graham
“Beware of Me When I’m Right!”
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”
— Proverbs 14:12 & 16:25
It’s rare for Scripture to repeat itself word for word — but Proverbs 14:12 and 16:25 do just that. A warning serious enough for the Spirit to inspire it twice.
I encountered this verse in two places within a few days while traveling with my wife Vicki and our daughter Molly through Eastern Europe. We had just spent time with family in Belgrade — our son-in-law Veljko’s parents and sister — before making our way through Subotica, Budapest, Bratislava, Vienna, Lake Bled, and Ljubljana. Along the way, I shared Proverbs 14:12 with Molly. A few days later, Proverbs 16:25 surfaced in my reading — the exact same verse.
While in Belgrade, we saw protests unfolding in response to recent tragedies and a call for accountability. But what struck me wasn’t the politics. It was the clarity: everyone involved on either side of this most recent Serbian issue believed they were right. And that pattern runs deep through history. This part of the world — like many others — has lived through wave after wave of leaders and ideologies, all confident in their vision. The damage wasn’t always caused by malice. Sometimes, it was caused by confidence.
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”
This verse isn’t directed at “them,” whoever they may be. It’s directed at us.
It speaks to anyone who moves forward in life based on instinct, conviction, or experience — without stopping to ask whether that path is truly shaped by the wisdom of God.
Jack Miller thought deeply about this. He often warned that presumption and faith can look nearly identical on the outside. “Both involve risk,” he said. “Both carry the appearance of confidence. But one is Christ-confidence grounded in the promises of God, and the other is self-confidence built on your own instincts.” The difference can be hard to spot. You can build a whole life — even a ministry — on self-confidence and not realize it until it starts to fall apart.
Jack often pointed to Jeremiah 17 as a key diagnostic. “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength,” he would say. “That’s not just a mistake — that’s a curse. And the curse is fruitlessness.” Self-trust, especially when disguised as spiritual energy or competence, can blind us. “The person relying on himself,” Jack said, “is so sick he’s lost all knowledge of himself. The devil can lead him around by the nose.” And the most dangerous part? It can feel exactly like faith.
That’s the heart of Jeremiah 17:
“Thus says the Lord: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come.”
— Jeremiah 17:5–6
A few verses later, the prophet makes it personal:
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
— Jeremiah 17:9
This is the human condition. Not just that we make mistakes. But that we can be deeply wrong — while fully convinced we’re right.
Jack was blunt about it. “Presumption can only multiply defeats,” he said. “God cannot bless it. You’re relying on gifts, talent, wisdom, or training — good things, but not God. And it’s wicked to rely on anything but the Lord.”
True faith, by contrast, begins with brokenness. “Faith isn’t the absence of confidence,” he said. “It’s confidence that comes from knowing Jesus has all the strength and all the righteousness you’ll ever need.” Faith works by love — not ambition, not performance, not personality. And love, Jack often reminded us, is gentle. It waits. It listens. It doesn’t need to prove itself right.
That’s why we need Christ.
He doesn’t just show us a better way — He is the way.
And not just the way forward, but the way out — out of self-trust, out of spiritual blindness, out of the slow, steady unraveling that comes when we lean on our own understanding.
Jesus is the one to whom Jeremiah points in verse 7:
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.”
— Jeremiah 17:7
He is the one who makes us like “a tree planted by water,” not driven by impulse or fear, but rooted in grace.
And He alone tells us the truth with authority:
“I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
— John 14:6
Jesus doesn’t tell us to fix our lives and then follow Him.
He tells us to stop trusting ourselves, and follow Him in surrender.
That’s why I’ve said:
Repenting of bad deeds only gets you up to Pharisee level.
You become a Christian when you start repenting of the reasons you do good things.
And that’s why I’ve joked about creating a T-shirt that says:
Front: “Beware of Me When I’m Right”
Back: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” — Proverbs 14:12/16:25
It’s meant to be humorous — but it’s also a confession.
Because when I’m most confident I’m right, I may be furthest from listening.
So, I’m learning — slowly — to pray something like this:
“Lord, save me from the way that seems right to me. Lead me instead in the way that leads to life — even when it cuts across my instincts.” Remind me that trust in myself leads nowhere good. Root me instead in You — in the way, the truth, and the life. And when I speak, act, or lead — let it be from a heart made humble by grace.
In a world full of strong opinions and deep convictions, that may be the most honest place to begin.
And maybe the most faithful place to stay.
